Brooke D'Sousa

       Growing up, I had always done well in school, and while my grades didn’t necessarily reflect this, my test scores and class schedules always did. I had taken honors classes and was enrolled in a few advanced placement classes my junior year, preparing for concurrent enrollment my senior year. I had every intention of attending college immediately after graduation, but life…and my decisions…threw me a curve ball. I became a single mother at the age of seventeen and my daughter has special needs, so I wasn't able to make college a priority out of high school like I had hoped. Instead I scrambled to complete high school, attending a “young parent” program in my community, finishing my diploma after the end of my senior year in an adult program. I had to begin working immediately to support my daughter and myself, and I found employment with a financial institution, working in the corporate environment for seventeen of the last nineteen years; the most recent fifteen years with the same company.

 

       I began as a customer service representative and credit analyst, ending my tenure with that financial institution as a Senior Marketing Manager reporting directly to the Senior Vice President of Marketing. Because of my lack of post high school education, I was unable to advance any further, and my aspirations for my career exceed what I was able to do there. I didn't marry until I was thirty, and subsequently I supported my husband through his Masters of Business Administration program. He graduated last spring and it was finally my turn. I am an older first-time college student and I'm just completing my second semester at Salt Lake Community College. I am studying business, as that is where my passions lie. I am currently self-employed as a real estate agent and I am working towards opening my own brokerage; employing others and helping them achieve their goals. I like the idea of self-employment because there, I am only limited by my own potential and determination, and not by someone else’s perception of me. This notion motivates me to move forward with my education, give myself the best chance at succeeding. Plus, I like to reduce my risk in situations; opting for insurance and security when possible. So by completing my degree I become more marketable, where I was not before, should I need to reenter the workforce at some point in my life. And as a bonus, I get to show my children that even when something is difficult, or takes a long time to achieve, it is still possible.

 

       I think it is important to share a bit of my background so my description of my renaissance has more perspective. I feel as though I have always been able to think critically, as I was very much “that kid”…the one that was always asking “why” and “what if”. This innate curiosity did not leave me with adulthood, but rather it intensified. I am grateful that the company I worked for believed in scientific approaches to decision making, as I gained a wealth of experience and knowledge, solidifying it’s importance in my mind.  So I do not feel as though I am having a re-birth or awakening per se, but through my time in this class I have been able to make new connections, and have a better understanding of why I opted for self-employment a couple of years ago. With that said, my renaissance is about the connections I have made as a result of this class and the selected readings, and in particular, the passage from Alienated Labor written by Karl Marx.

 

       Alienated Labor criticizes the economic system of private ownership and capitalism by theorizing the estrangement of the worker from his work, and subsequently his life, as a result of dividing labor. The division of labor consists of assigning one person to perform one aspect of the whole job, which they do over and over again, day in and day out. Then assigning another person to perform another aspect of the whole job, so on and so forth. Throughout my working years, I never felt as though I had a career, but rather a serious of jobs required to make ends meet…to survive. A large reason for my feelings was due to the companies I labored for, and the employers I reported to, and how I feel I was treated during my time with them. I was a number; employee number 46 to be exact. Even with a smaller company, we employees were always reminded we were replaceable. This seemed like a tactic to keep anyone from asking questions or challenging the way things were done, and it worked. I was grateful to have a job during the post-2009 recession years, however that didn’t come without cost. My company enacted a hiring, promotion, and pay increase freeze that lasted for almost four years. That meant that we had to do the same job with less. Less people, less pay, and it took more of our time. During this period we would receive company-wide updates on the company’s financial status, which always consisted of words such as “record-breaking” and “better than last quarter” even in the midst of a recession. It was difficult to then understand why we weren’t being adequately compensated for our time and effort. The cost of living began to rise, but our pay remained stagnant, causing us additional strain in our personal lives.

 

       As time went one, and the freezes were removed, I couldn’t help but become somewhat bitter toward the newfound culture my place of employment adopted. There wasn’t any care or important placed on the development and growth of employees. Positions that became available within the company were posted for outside hiring, without giving any notification of these opportunities to current employees. My direct boss was a bit controlling and a micro-manager, and largely dismissed any of my teams ideas and contributions. I began to loathe getting up in the mornings, and I spent the majority of my days in my head, dreaming of a life where I felt I contributed positively to something greater than myself; where I could express myself and feel satisfied with my efforts. It was in this disassociation from my work and my life that I realized the only way to feel differently was to walk away from this toxic corporate environment and make a go of it on my own. I have always had entrepreneurial dreams, but it wasn’t until I felt the desperation of being stuck in a life that was void of any satisfaction that I was willing to face my fear of failure and take total control of my life and my happiness. I am thankfully self-employed, and one day I hope to employ others, but I want to do so in a way that fosters them as individuals with goals and aspirations of their own, while creating an environment where we each feel apart of something, working together and reaping the benefits of our successes. It was in the reading of Alienated Labor that I realized that I wasn’t alone in my thoughts and feelings, and I am more motivated than ever to finish my formal education and return to the world of capitalism and greed to prove there is another way…a better way.